Over the years, I have learned how important it is to have
examples to look up to and want to emulate. Some of these role models for me
include my grandparents and my parents. Both my grandparents and parents are
quick to forgive and have worked hard to have strong marriages. Someone that I
look up to in the scriptures is the prophet of old Lehi and his wife Sariah.
The Book of Mormon teaches us about the hardships that they went through, as
well as their joys and successes. They were a family of having gold, silver,
and many riches, but they it all to follow the will of the Lord. In 1 Nephi 5,
we read that Nephi and his brother were delayed in their returning for the
brass plates. Sariah, supposing her sons to be dead, also complained against
Lehi, accusing him of being a foolish old man (1 Nephi 5:2). I can totally understand
Sariah, but we learn in Goddard’s book that when we feel irritated with our
spouse, that irritation is not an invitation to call our spouses to repentance
but an invitation to call ourselves to repent.
I admire Lehi’s response to this particular situation. He
did not yell back at her, but instead he looked outside of himself, let down any pride, agreed with
her, and comforted her. He was an emotionally intelligent husband. What an example of humility and repentance! Goddard
also says, “When we have the ‘mind of Christ,’ we see our spouses in a new way.”
In Gottman’s study, he found that men who allowed their wives to influence them
had happier relationships, but on the other hand, 80% of husbands who resisted
their wives’ influence would end up in a self-destructing relationship.
Needless to say, I am proud of Lehi’s response to his worried and frustrated
wife. His response did not escalate his wife’s negativity. Instead of damaging
the relationship by using one or more of the four horsemen, he respected her
point of view and made it known to her that what she was thinking and worried
about was important to him.
I have enjoyed including my husband by teaching him all that
I am learning from this marriage class. From the little tidbits of information
that I have shared with him, I can see that my husband has been so much more
aware of ways that he can be an emotionally intelligent husband. I can see how
he is making his career less of a priority and making his family life a greater
priority. We know that our greatest success will be in the walls of our own
home. He is so good at keeping a detailed love map of my world. He communicates
it his fondness and admiration for me by turning toward me in his daily
actions. I know that someday he will be an amazing father because he will be familiar
with his children’s world.
I am so excited for
the future. Although we are nowhere close to being perfect, I know that the
future is bright with a great husband by my side. Of course, just like Lehi and
Sariah, there will be times of difficult and trial, but if we are humble and repentant,
then all things will work out.
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