I felt so enlightened by this week’s readings, mostly because I enjoy studying about the topics of gratitude and charity. From personal experience, I have seen how having a spirit of Thanksgiving has blessed my life. I love the exercise that Gottman provides in the Afterword. He says, “Search for reasons to praise. Begin with simple things. Praise the world. Appreciate your own breathing, the sunrise, the beauty of a rainstorm, the wonder in your child’s eyes.” As I have made a conscience effort to be grateful for the things that I have, I have seen that my focus has been shifted away from the negativity. I have also made a conscience effort this week to notice and give more gratitude to my husband for all that he does. Reading this book has helped me realize that I take a lot of things that my husband does for me for granite. My husband’s love language is words. He loves compliments and he thrives on the kind words given by others. I came home from a long day of school and work one evening and our messy kitchen was spotless. Our bed was made and the clothes in the closet were neatly organized. Normally, I would of quickly thanked him, but this time around, I made sure to truly express my gratitude for this wonderful act of service. He knows that a clean home makes me happy and feel less stressed. It was exactly what I needed. Gottman says, “The more you can imbue your relationship with the spirit of thanksgiving and the graceful presence of praise, the more profound and fulfilling your lives will be.” It is my goal to always have an attitude of gratitude.
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| Clean home! |
Reading about gratitude this week made me think of a talk titled “Grateful in Any Circumstances” by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. He says, “There is an old story of a waiter who asked a customer whether he had enjoyed the meal. The guest replied that everything was fine, but it would have been better if they had served more bread. The next day, when the man returned, the waiter doubled the amount of bread, giving him four slices instead of two, but still the man was not happy. The next day, the waiter doubled the bread again, without success. On the fourth day, the waiter was really determined to make the man happy. And so he took a nine-foot-long (3-m) loaf of bread, cut it in half, and with a smile, served that to the customer. The waiter could scarcely wait for the man’s reaction. After the meal, the man looked up and said, “Good as always. But I see you’re back to giving only two slices of bread.”
You may be asking yourself, “What does this story have to do with charity and gratitude?” Goddard states that, “Instead of seeing inconveniences and irritations, some see goodness and blessings in their marriage.” We can make a decision. We can continue to see the meager two slices of bread like the man in the story, or we can avoid contempt and criticism. I love that we can make a choice of noticing the flaws in our spouse or we can notice their many talents and strengths. We can either notice that the nine-foot-long loaf of bread is cut in half or we can notice that we have a big piece of bread in front of us. As Goddard says, we can choose to enjoy the 80% of our spouses’ traits instead of focusing on the 20% that annoys us.
I know that great blessings come by being grateful in any circumstance and by being charitable. As we make a conscience effort to strive to be more like the Savior and to “pray with all of the energy of heart, that we may be filled with his love…” (Moroni 7:47), we will have a marriage that will help our lives become more profound and fulfilling.
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