To My Beautiful Child,
I'm laughing right now thinking about our time in Barbados a few weeks ago. My cousin's little boy, Colby, LOVED your dad! Actually, that should be no surprise because every baby LOVES your dad! He just has this way of captivating their attention with his happy face. Colby would cry and your dad would be the only one who could calm him down. Every time your dad would hold Colby, the people of Barbados would say, "WOW that is a BIG baby!" Then they would look at your dad and say, "You must be the father!" We laughed and told them the sad news that he was not the dad. haha.
I was thinking the other night how much I would love it if you looked like your dad. If you look like me, I will still love you, but I think your dad is pretty cute. I pictured him with you the other night, and my heart could almost burst! He will be the BEST dad. He is so fun and loves life. He will teach you to love life too. He sure helps me to love it.
I also wanted to tell you that I am feeling so completely grateful and humbled lately. I struggle with being open and vulnerable about a trial that is so near and dear to my heart, but I can honestly say that I am happy and content. Lots of people ask me how I stay so positive and I've been thinking about that a lot. Here are the three reasons I've come up with:
#1. I know, without a doubt, that Heavenly Father has a plan for your dad and I. He's watching over us and he wants us to experience trials so we can learn and grow. That's the whole reason we are here on earth, right? I read somewhere that God cares more about our character than our comfort. I hope that your dad and I are building Christlike attributes amidst this trial. We love the Savior and want to become more like Him.
#2. Focusing on what I'm grateful for and for the wonderful life I've been blessed with helps me be happy now! Life is so precious and I would hate to waste away days. Sure, there are hard days, but I genuinely love my life and the people in it. I don't want to look back on this time of life and have regrets like, "Why didn't I just lighten up a bit?"
#3. Everything works out in the end. I have faith that if we continue to do what is right and live our lives in a way that's pleasing to the Lord, then we will be blessed. He has promised us happiness if we keep our covenants. I know that He keeps his promises. I trust in his timing for our family and I know that his plan is 150% better than any life plan that I could ever come up with. We've had countless experiences where Heavenly Father has reassured us that YOU (and your siblings) are coming. One of those experiences happened when your dad and I were just 17 and 18 years old. Crazy, I know!
So, needless to say...my heart is full of gratitude for the trials that we have. Our job is to carry our burdens with grace and put a smile on our faces- trusting that all will work out. Your dad and I do feel like a big piece of our hearts are missing...and we fill incomplete. The joy we will feel for your arrival will be indescribable and it brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. You have been prayed for and wanted for years.
You are worth every tear and every needle!
Love,
Your Mom
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