We received all of our medication on Tuesday, so Sunday right before church I posed on the table with it. I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom!
On Thursday, I had my follow-up ultrasound to make sure we are cleared and good to go to start meds! Your grandma, Grandma Jilly, came with your dad and I to the appointment. She is so supportive and I just love her...you will too! I wanted her to be familiar with the meds just in case your dad was able to give me the shot one day. The ultrasound looked great and not polyps or cysts were found. Your dad leaned over to me and said, "What a miracle!" It truly is a miracle considering last May, I had surgery to remove endometriosis and while we were at it, Dr. Wilson found 2 cysts on my ovaries. I felt so thankful that they haven't come back.
I have 100% faith that you will come when you are supposed to, in the way that you are supposed to come to us. The only thing that gives me a pit in my stomach are...the shots that your dad has to give me every day morning and night. There's always the slight feeling of horror before he sticks the needle in. Sunday morning was the first day of shots. I woke up feeling a bit nervous. I got ready while your dad was still sleeping and tried to prepare myself mentally. At 8am, your dad woke up and we began preparing ourselves for the first shot- Menopur. I am so thankful to have your dad. He makes me laugh and makes the situation a lot less uptight. I call him Dr. Boyd...and I think he likes that. He is such a words guy, and I'm sure you will be just like your dad. :-) Right as he was about to put the needle in my stomach, he took a deep nervous breath-which made us both laugh. This is all so new to us, but I'm sure it will become a routine feeling very soon. We were a few minutes late to 9am church, but we made it!
Your dad and I are currently the primary choristers together in our Windrift Ward and we love it. Best calling ever! Isn't it amazing that the Lord knows us so perfectly. This calling couldn't come at a better time and we are struggling to start our family. It is so healing to be surrounded by children and teaching them songs about the Savior. Your dad and I often talk about how we will raise our children strong in the gospel. I cannot wait to teach you primary songs and to sing to you and love you.
Sunday night at 8:30pm it was time for another shot- Follistim. Once again, we were feeling a little bit nervous so I turned on some tunes to lighten the mood a little bit. The song that turned on was "Loving You Easy" by Zac Brown Band.
We have received so many tender mercies these past couple of months where we know that the Lord is there. Of course, there have been many times where I have felt that he is not there...but now I can't deny it. My mom sent me this message the other day and it could not have come at a better time. Your dad and I went on a date on Friday to Someburros (that's one of our favorite restaurants) and we had a good long conversation about how we are feeling. I had a hard day. I have had a difficult time finding purpose in my life when all I want to be is a mom and it just hasn't happened. Everyone our age has 2-3 kids and sometimes I just don't know what to do with my life- and that makes me sad. At dinner, your dad and I both agreed that we feel like a part of our hearts is missing. I have never seen your dad like this before. He is typically positive, upbeat, and happy. In the past, whenever I would be sad about not being able to start our family, he would be the one that would reassure me that it would all work out. Within the past couple of months, I have seen how your dad has been missing someone. That someone is you! We feel incomplete and it brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. On Friday, I was dreaming about being a mom- what it would be like, what you will look like, etc. I envisioned you as a new baby with your head in my hand and I envisioned looking at your chubby little face. I don't even know you personally yet, but I love you SO much. I don't know why we have had to wait so long for you to join us or why we have had to go through this trial, but I hope I have learned all that I have needed to learn.
We want to be the best parents for you!
You're worth it!
Love, Mom
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